Thursday, June 7, 2012

My Shadow is Now a Flicker of White

Dark clouds have unleashed their fury with loud booms across the sky and the  flowers are yielding to heavy drops of rain.  I wonder if Beau is looking down from the Rainbow Bridge in amusement; no longer needing to run to the closet in fear.

I miss him in quiet moments every day.  No dog to walk this morning, I can take my time getting dressed, I think still half asleep. No need to open the door cautiously when I come home, Beau won't be there, sleeping right beside the door; waiting. No need to fill the water and food dish; no one here to eat it. No worry if I change direction in the doorway; "will I trip the dog attached to my knee?"  No need to lower the foot of the recliner slowly; so as not to bump the dog under the "porch." No need to save the last bite of my sandwich, or melt a tiny piece of my chocolate for him to lick from my fingers.  No dog to warm my backside or silky coat to stroke until I sleep.

My husband can kiss me goodnight without being growled at and doesn't have to hide his pillow first thing in the morning;  keeping dog fur from attaching. He has no dog to keep him company when I'm traveling or to hush when someone passes by. No toothy grin to laugh at. No chair thief to order "OFF!" No velvet ears to scratch.

Our son opens the door slowly when he comes in, still half expecting to be greeted with excited barking and jumping. He holds the dirty green tennis ball without a growled objection. No playmate to make up for barking customers at the end of his day.

Still, despite the sadness, I am grateful. This beautiful ball of white fluff was in our lives for almost 9 years. Nine years of memories, warm snuggles, smiles and outright laughter. Sure he de-stuffed a lot of pillows waiting for us to come home. Hated water enough to bite you if you got him wet.  But, he brought much love into our hearts and wisdom into lives.  Nothing can take that away.

I see a flicker of white... it's him; everywhere I look.  If you would like to see more pictures of Beau go to my Pinterest Board dedicated to Beau.

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