Friday, February 15, 2008

What Do You Fear Most?

The question "What do you fear most?" had me stumped. I thought about saying "nothing," but I am not fear-LESS. A boyfriend once gave me a Zippo cigarette lighter with "Wonderwoman" engraved on one side, but that was so far from accurate I had to laugh everytime I saw it.

I started to write "getting old," but that isn't exactly true, it is all the discomforts and restrictions of old age that I dread (not fear) inevitably fencing me into a tiny world. But even there, if I have computers and books and tvs and radios I'm sure I would be content... as long as I can see/or hear.

Remembering that I have already lost the use of one eye and noticing that I am saying "pardon?" and "what?" and "huh?" more and more frequently, I would have to say that my biggest fear is becoming blind AND deaf.

Blindness would be the worst and most limiting disability I can imagine. Losing my hearing as well? Unthinkable!

Right now, I am looking out the window at ambitious Ibis making their way around the muddy flats that edge the lake and listening to the only sounds in my world... hesitant clicking of keys, computer fan white noise, the soft whirring of the ceiling fan, and the sizzling sound of tinnitus that is my constant companion.

I feel very blessed indeed.

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